russia's obsessive view
by weeble.san
Summary: The more he tries to get close the more trouble he has restraining his thoughts and the more confusion he seems to have. There seems to be a physical complication and mental wall that is keeping him from hanging around/being with china.yaoi- but i'll never tell who he ends up with. find out for your self
1. Chapter 1

Nation/name- Russia

Gender- male

Race- country

Birth day- December 30

Sexual orientation- ?

Appearance- has a little more weight to him than most, tall, has beige hair, purple eyes, is seen wearing a tan coat, gloves, pinkish scarf and greenish pants. He has a child-like face, a prominent nose, is seen holding bottles of vodka and a led pipe.

Abilities- can give off a strange purple aura, is physically apt at fighting, can sit in Busby's chair without dying, can tower over most countries, and can hold his alcohol.

Weakness- unaware of why he scares people, china, general winter, not good at making friends, has a little more unwanted weight, Belarus, has obsessive tendencies, is kind of crazy, repetitive, has trouble understanding people, can't communicate verbally or non-verbally very well, doesn't get body language, limited range of interest, way too literal.

Strength- kind of crazy, china, general winter (only when he is in a battle though)

Hobbies- keeping warm, visiting china, stalking china, day dreaming about china, knitting, counting things

Likes- china, Ukraine, Lithuania (though not as much as china; he kind of acts like they are divorced sometimes.), general winter, warm sunny places, sunflowers, vodka, math, books

Dislikes- Belarus, Poland, remembering his past, the cold, Ukraine running away from him

Bio- Russia is currently trying to get on friendly terms with china; he is also failing epically at it. Instead, all he has succeeded in doing is making himself look like a creeper. He really just wants to be friends with him. Suddenly, he notices japan coming over and visiting for large amounts of time. He is really not pleased with this, despite Russia's dismay he never once tried to scare japan away (he knows how difficult keeping up family relations is. He has the same troubles with his sisters). He actually does not want to ruin things too much for them. So instead of running japan off he just spends time with both of them, even if he really just wants to be alone with china. He also seems to be getting more and more territorial around china. This too is rather surprising to him. The more he tries to get close the more trouble he has restraining his thoughts and the more confusion he seems to have. There seems to be a physical complication and mental wall that is keeping him from hanging around/being with china.

Authors note- just like japans pov you will read some things that are understood about some characters that you have not read about yet. Please bear with me I will write the povs, just give me some time. With the way I am writing these pov's it is required for the characters to experience things that readers do not know about yet. You will soon enough though. By the way I have Italy, Germany and Japan's (obviously lol) pov's up already up and going. Enjoy Russia's perspective. Btw, I am pulling things about his personality from a mix of things: text book history, culture, and the series. There is also something about Russia that I threw in the mix, but I'll never tell. See if you can guess what it is. (yes we all will be learning something new in this pov!^^message me if you think you know what it might be.)

What happened when Russia sat in the square

The air was very stale like it always was. The hard wood slightly chilled my large coat as usual and the floor was spotless. The only thing that blemished the hard wood was a square. The square was chalk drawn on the floor and stayed in the same place since I could remember living in this house. In fact I was the one who drew it; I made sure to draw it nice and big so that in the future I could still sit in it. I sat here every Thursday at exactly four o'clock until four forty-four and, never once has this changed. The square is approximately four feet in height and four feet wide. It is also exactly 44 inches and 4 centimeter's away from the door that leads into the room on the right hand side. If I remember correctly the right hand side of the room is facing east. I chose this side of the room because 'East' begins with 'E' and 'E' comes before the letter 'F'.

I do a variety of things while sitting in my square. For example, I watch the occasional bug that may crawl across the floor, count the exact amount of ceiling tiles that seem to be scattered above me or see how many nails hold down the floor boards. Well, all of the nails that are in my line of vision. Sometimes I would drink my favorite brand of vodka as I sat. That was only for special days. Today was special; but, special in a different way. I did not have a bottle of vodka with me; instead, I had company with me. You see, the ceiling was to be painted today.

At three o' clock the work men came into my special room and, like I do every day at three; I was knitting. I made absolutely sure that they painted the whole eastern half of the room so that I could sit in my square. I got strange looks from all the men who moved about the room. Not to mention there were so many whispers that floated around incoherently. I really did wish to know what people talked about when they would whisper. It seemed to happen so often around me. It just made me curious; I think? The stares grew more intense when I rose from my spot that resided in the arm chair next to the fireplace. I did this at exactly three fifty eight.

If I time it just right I will be able to sit down at exactly four o'clock. I have one minute to find a stopping point while knitting, and another minute to sit down. Perfect, right? This time was a little off because; work men kept on getting in my way while I walked to my square. I knocked over couple of them due to being in my way. I could not understand why the men who fell shot me dirty looks. They were clearly in the way; I was in plain sight. They should have moved. It was a little irritating, but I made it on time as usual.

So that brings me to where I am now. The only thing that irked me was the change with the ceiling. Though, luckily for me I could still see a pristine outline of where the tiles are. It wasn't as bad as it could be. At least I could still count them. Hell, even the smell of the paint wasn't that bad. I sort of found it refreshing. Then I began to wonder; how long would it take for the new paint to dry. Or, if it would make that peculiar crackle noise as it dried or if it even made noise while drying. It was all a mystery to me and I had to find out.

I sat there patiently counting the seconds and listening. By the end of it, I stood standing up from my square. I did not get to know how long it took for the paint to dry, but I did however find out that paint does not crackle while it is drying. Though, I still don't know if paint crackles as soon as the paint is done drying. I will have to try this on a different day. For now I had to move to the hall. There was still much to do.

What happened to Russia when completing the daily routine 

Part 1 walking

It was now time for my daily walk. There was always a particular rhythm I stepped to; and, the tune, rhythm or both always played out in my head as I moved. Though, occasionally there would be that one person who would get in the way as I walked. I usually kept on moving as to try not to mess up my foot patterns but, when people are in the way I tend to run into them. It's frustrating. They know I'm walking, so why won't they just move? If they did that, then I wouldn't run into them. It's so strange; their reaction to me as this happens is so silly. I mean, it is true that I get frustrated. This is especially true when people get in my way or ask pointless questions but, that's no reason to cower in fear or run away from me.

'_I just don't get it… people do not make sense to me. I think it might make me sad? For some reason I'm not sure…people are strange.' _I though.

I then continued onward; weaving my thoughts in and out as I took each step. The silence was unnerving sometimes; typically I like rambunctious people in very small doses. 'The quiet' reminds me a little too much of 'the bad things'. 'The bad things' make me feel… anxious? I think? Either way I saw it these routine walks do not make 'the bad things' pop into my head. They were… nice? Doing this gave me time to think about people.

I have come to the conclusion that people are very irrational. The things they do don't make sense and are pointless. One such idea that they practice is religion. Science says that it is not possible for heaven or hell to exist. With this being said I am atheist. Besides, I think that science gave us a lot more useful things than 'god' has. That is if he exists, which I am 95% percent sure that he doesn't.

'_There is always the slight chance that he might and if that's the case then I am most likely going to go to hell, like I was told I would. That's ok though, because I will not die for a long time. Besides, hell might not be so bad. How can you take a lifeless body anywhere? It's also not possible to feel pain when you are dead.' _I discussed with myself.

"They always did say that hell is fiery. How can someone feel the pain of fire for their sins if a person cannot even bring their physical body to hell? It makes no sense…." I shook my head as I walked.

Finally I was just about done with my walk; you see I timed it just right. By the time it is six-thirty I will be stepping straight through the doors of my personal library; which, just happened now. When I entered the room I headed directly to my favorite chair. The cratered cushion cradled my body making me the most comfortable I have ever been today. So…nice?

Part2 books 

I then began reaching for my usual book. As my hand touched the counter I found nothing underneath it. That was NOT normal! I always touch my book when I lay my hand down! Looking down in a (panic..?) I think I may have smiled…because the book was actually there. It was just a few centimeters off of its proper spot. With a sigh I began reading. The words seemed to suck me in. I knew that it would not take me long to read, so I always kept at least four large books on the small in table beside my chair. I read each of the books with ease, and then I got up to look for different books to replace the ones that were read.

This act was also specific to my routine. You see I will cycle through four books each Thursday. Read through all four books each day for about four hours; that means it will take about one hour to finish each book. Then, when Thursday roles around again I will find four different books, read them and then I will always restart my process. I am trying to read my entire library; I am only half way through my library. I have read about one thousand books thus far.

I own just about any book you can think of but, the books I like the most are books about atheism and math; while, my friend who lived in this library always seemed to read self-help books. There's a story behind my friend you know. My Mr. Boss man said that I was not allowed to keep him around me anymore. So I decide to keep him in here. After all I cannot just get rid of my friend. My friend was not technically around me when in here; my friend was on the other side of the room. I can still talk to my friend while I'm in here; and, no one can make fun of me for doing so either.

My friend has been around sense I had turned five years old. It was my friend who helped me ignore 'the bad things'. I named him бродяга; the reason is because he looked like one. He wore tattered and patched up over-all's, a dirty large knitted sweater, a large woolly hat, scarf and matching gloves, his boots also had holes in them. He is exactly my height…when I was five. I wish he would have grown taller. If he was taller, then maybe, Mr. Boss Man would let him hang around me in public. Mr. Boss Man says that I am too old to play with and talk to бродяга. I tell Boss Man that бродягаis only a few years younger than me but Boss Man won't listen. It just is not fair… бродяга is the only friend I have that does not run away. My other friends at the world meetings are afraid of me or will avoid me. At home I have three friends but they seem to be very nervous and shaky around me; especially when I am frustrated. But now was not the time to remember older events; I did that while walking. I had already found the books that I needed for tomorrow and I set them on the in table. Next I picked up my mathematics textbook (it was upper level).

Part3 mathematics, paper and pencils

With that I grabbed my favorite mathematics note book; it was red and had stickers of sunflowers on it. Then I reached for my favorite red pencils and got to working. I was to do this for exactly one hour. First I would start off with something easy; for example, I started working equations that dealt with complex numbers and logarithms. They are extremely simple but (fun?) to solve.

My first problem looked something like this.

(10)^3x-1=5/7

(3x-1)1n10=1n(5/7)

3x-1=1n(5/7)/1n10

3x=1n(5/7)/1n +1

X=1/3(1n(5/7)/(1n 10 +1)

=0.284624

(Authors note- each slash indicates a fraction, not division)

I cannot really explain any of the other equations that I have done but I can tell you by the end of the hour I was working advanced calculus.

My last equation looked something like this.

Authors note- I could not translate calculus equations over through word so here's a picture link. I looked up advanced calculus problems on google, and I picked a pic that looked good. If the math I chose is not right or if anyone know how to translate math to word please let me know ok. Thank you!^^ www. Straighterline blog/ assets/ content/ ignore the spaces, When you look this up get rid of the spaces. This was the only way to post the link.

Part3 friends for dinner

Realizing that it was nearly supper time I sat my mathematics text back in its proper place. I had timed my walk to the dining room just right. I would arrive as soon as my servants laid food on the table. Though, as I walked through the door I realized that all three of my friends were sitting at the table. I found this to be extremely irritating…there is a schedule put in place for a reason. The three of them should have been walking in the same time as me. Oh, the nerve of some people, don't they know that if there was absolutely no schedule put in place there would be total chaos! Unbelievable … this had to be addressed.

"How early were you?" I said irritated in my tone.

The Baltics only trembled.

"You know it is very rude not to answer when someone is asking you a question, da? Answer me please da." I only smiled. But it only seemed to…scare them more? I can't ever figure them out. I only smile to make myself seem not so scary.

"Well, you see we came here early because we had finished our work early. You see we-"

"There is no finishing work early. You finish work at the time you are supposed to be finished da? Another thing, I don't think I asked you why you were here early. I asked you how early you were here. Answer the question da?" I smiled cutting off Lithuania.

They only seemed to shrink more. "Well, we were sitting here for about twenty minutes before you came in to sit down." Latvia replied this time.

"Twenty minutes…" I whispered.

"Yeah… it's not that-"Estonia spoke this time.

"Not that what?"

"It was just twenty minutes. It's not like we were-" Lithuania stood up raising his voice.

"What was that just now? You have the gull to speak to me like that after being early!" I raised my self from my chair.

"We are so sorry!" they began to cluster together.

"No. you must remember who's roof you are living under da?" I smiled.

"We won't do it again! We promise!" they spoke simultaneously

"No. the schedule is put forth for a reason. You must learn now just as I had to da? Mother said it was crucial, and now I must say it is crucial; but first eat. We are behind schedule enough." I sat down.

The whole table was silent. I didn't know why. I was nice enough to let them eat before punishing them. If it was матушка, I would not get a bite for at least a couple nights before I was allowed to see the day. It was all so strange to me, матушка was so much more harsh than I. I was being nice and they still… fear me? Maybe I should smile more. That will most likely help.

"now it is time for you to go to the rooms da? But before that a smack." I smiled.

Latvia looked as if he were going to cry; while the other two just hung their heads.

"One for you," I gave Latvia a smack to the face, on impact there was a large red and purple mark that blemished his face. Slight tears began to form in the corners of his eyes.

"It is for your own good; how will you learn if I don't discipline you comrade? Da?" I put my hand on his head.

"Of course sir, I am sorry…it will not happen again" he only shook, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Very good little comrade."

The very same was done with Estonia. But when it came to disciplining Lithuania; I think it may have been hard to smack him. Old memories of him and mother seemed to…torment…me? But it had to be done.

"This hurts me much more than it than it hurts me." I lead them to the basement.

"I'm sure it does." Estonia mumbled under his breath.

"What was that? I have to say it does, only you experience physical discomfort" I replied, not quite understanding what he meant.

Estonia only scoffed.

"Time to go into the special bad rooms." I smiled shoving each in their own separate spaces, each Baltic hitting the ground with a thud.

I learned the schedule well enough this way. If I messed up this is how mother disciplined me sometimes. She would give me a good few smacks to the face and throw me in a desolate room with no windows for a few days. I learned quickly not to mess up; maybe they will learn too.

"Now comrades, you will be free to leave your room's tomorrow afternoon da? Good night my friends." I flicked out the light and made my way to the sitting room.

What happened to Russia when the schedule was ruined

By the time I reached the sitting room, events of the past played forwards and backwards in my head. It made me off. Seeing all the things Lithuania and I practiced together. His voice and face replayed in my head. I punished him too when he would mess up too. Why did he have to mess up! I was only trying to get him to learn the right way to do things! And he goes off and says that I am not his love anymore. All I wanted was to help him see he was doing everything wrong! He needed help.

Seeing матушка in my mind, remembering the time I was bathed in scolding water because I was a bad boy. Every time I broke something матушка made me cut myself with the shards of glass, plastic and sometimes brittle broken metal. It was my fault things get broken so I must pay. And, now I was late to my sitting room. I must discipline myself. I couldn't lock myself in the bad special room they were full. I had to think of something else. Матушка would be upset if I didn't punish myself after being a bad boy. Bad things happen when mother gets mad.

So I took up my friend, the one called lead pipe and I proceeded to hit my stomach with it. Матушка would be upset if it did not hurt at least a little bit. So I budged until I saw the red; my favorite color. I then collapsed remembering and breathing heavily. I remembered more and more. The cold snow after older sister stole us away. The starvation and the drugs! I began to cope with it the only way I knew how.

I stood in the corner atop a small stool. I rocked on my feet moving backwards and forwards repeatedly, yelling all the time. Then I ran as fast as my long legs could carry me into the nearest bathroom. I turned the cold water knobs full blast, then sacking my face up towards gushing water. I had to wash the heat away. My face was so unbearably hot. I then ran back to the sitting room. Once I entered I immediately went to the desk grabbing my small book it was smaller than my palm. It was my faces book. I had hand drew all the emotions I knew people made; that I had trouble making. This also just happened to be the only thing I had left from when I was a child. The rest of my childhood belongings were destroyed.

I searched despite for the right face I was supposed to make. I then ran back to the mirror in the bathroom locking the door. Staring at myself I tried desperately to make my eyes cry, but yet again to no avail. So, I tried to make myself cry like everyone else did when sad.

I made the bad things come again. All I had to do was remember my school days. After a while I finally created tears. I then made my way to my personal bed room. I crawled under the bed with a blanket and pillow. If I slept on top of the bed the bad guys I fought with guns and my friend led pipe might come back.

It took quite a while but I finally got to sleep. After all I had to get to bed some time. I was to meet up with Mr. Boss man about a new mission.

Author's note- sorry about the end being quite dark; there will be comedy in later chapters. I also want to apologize for the reduced length of this chapter; normally I would choose to write at least a thousand more words for a first chapter. If anyone has trouble with the web link please tell me. Also if anyone has any suggestions for Russia's pov do not hesitate to tell me. Please review, thank you^^

(By the way have you figured out what Russia's mystery trait is? I'll give you a hint. It's a type of disorder. But it is not quite OCD, but OCD goes along with this disorder.)


	2. now for something completly different

Author's note- I am very sorry again for taking so long to post anything new … I had lots of holiday cooking and baking to do during the holidays, and family to look after too. At least we lived through 2012! Woot! But enough of that, that's just silly. I know this is late but I have written something fun for you guys. It's a little something from me and the Hetalia character's to you. We love to make sweets during the holiday season and hopefully you can use these recipes. This one is Russia's favorite treat to serve during the holidays but I will be writing these specials for the other characters too^^ (btw this is also something that mom makes every year for our special winter holiday, it tastes amazing. I hope you love it just as much as I do. Enjoy!)

Cooking with Russia

Holiday special

"Today I show you how to properly create my favorite holiday sweet form my homeland. You pay attention now because I will not repeat." I looked happily…? In china's direction.

"I don't even know where I am? Where on earth have you taken me! So help me if you hav-" china raised his voice, slightly paniced? Though considering where he was I would have thought it was obvious where he was. Why did he have to ask, he's so silly sometimes.

"I just wanted to spend time with you at my home for once. You are in my kitchen. I teach you how to make Russian cream today. We eat it during holidays da?" I giggled.

"what! You kidnapped me in my sleep, just so I would cook with you! I know you have some hidden motive by doing this! What is it you want? Just tell me!" china yelled.

"China all I want is to become close to you. You culture say's that food and cooking is a way that family or loved ones come together right? I wanted to understand that better. Please cook with me" I gave an earnest look? I really did want to know him better and the best way to do that was to open up to his culture. After all everyone seems to disregard his way of life. They don't even try to understand him… but I actually want to.

"Ok fine, show me how it's done Russia." He gave a smile…I think.

"First gather what you need." I looked at him. He seemed to draw me in….?

"And what would they be? Stop standing there staring into space. You should pay attention when doing something as tedious as this." he asked rather irritated?

"Oh da, I suppose you are correct... you will need, 3/4 cup sugar, 1/2 cup water , 1 (1/4 ounce) envelope unflavored gelatin, 1 cup whipping cream , 1 1/2 cups sour cream or , 1 1/2 cups crème fraiche, 1 teaspoo almond extract, as well as chopped red and black currants for garnish." I explained grabbing the ingredients from their popper places.(I had already measured them out exact before I even started.)

_"Though I would prefer to substitute the almond extract for vodka…" _I whispered under my breath.

"What was that?" china looked up at me.

"Oh nothing, I was just saying to myself that I wouldn't mind switching out almond extract for vodka. Perhaps, we do this different time da?" I giggled once more.

"Um… I do not think so." He crossed his arms.

"Say what you want but you dink vodka with me in future soon."

"And what makes you say that?"

"Big suspicion in my belly tells me so. You will see." I smiled.

"Whatever you want to believe, can we please get on with this?" he rolled his eyes. "I honestly would like to know how to make this… I really do enjoy cooking. That is one of my favorite things to do." He looked up with a warm smile?

"ok…well, first you must Combine sugar, water, and gelatin in small saucepan and blend well, Like so and-"to my shock I looked over to see china doing everything that I had said to do.

"it is done like this right aru?" he gestured down to the sauce pan.

"uh…um…y-yeah…." I was feeling odd.

"What you didn't expect me to just setback and not do anything did you? If I am invited to cook with any one I would like to learn hands on from the experience." He said looking up again.

"u-uh…da…" I felt as if I was for some reason about to explode.

" are you ok?"

"da! Next you let stand for 5 minutes."

Author-5 minutes of awkward silence and Russia flippin out on the inside have now just passed

"Now what?" he turned to me.

"Now, Place over medium heat and bring to boil, stirring all the time." I don't know why but he remained me so much of someone but I couldn't think of whom…and then for some strange reason mother had come to mind…I didn't like thinking of her. He was much kinder to me than she. She always hit me and gave off spite… but he doesn't so why. Why does a mother come to mind? Perhaps it is because of his take charge attitude. For whatever the reason I was having strange and frightening issues.

"Um. Excuse me. It is boiling."

"and." I said without thinking.

"And?"

"Eh?"

"What next?" he raised his voice.

"Oh, next remove from careful it is ho-" no sooner did I get it of my mouth I was the one who burned himself…flash backs of the bad things came flying into my head. I was prepared for him to yell, hit me for messing up or leave entirely; or all three…

"aiya, you should really pay closer attention… you are a full grown adult man aru. Honestly… give me your hand."

I was totally blown away by his reaction…to tell the truth it scared me even more. I had no response.

With a huff he took my hand and began to run icy cold water over it little while. Then with his finger gently spread a yellow green salve over it then red bandage to finish. "There that should do it take the bandage off in the morning and the burn should be nearly gone. Next time pay attention aru."

I couldn't help myself I reached down and hugged him.

"aiya, what is the meaning of that!? You better-"

"thank you…"

He let out a huff and slightly hugged back "sometimes I wonder about you."

I still held him. I was just glad that he made the bad things disappear.

"um, Russia the recipe?"

" oh…da.." I paused still in the moment.

"um Russia?"

"da, gradually blend in cream. Then Combine crème fraiche and extract in medium bowl." I snapped back to reality.

"now?"

"Now, gradually add hot sugar mixture, whisking constantly until smooth. Then you must Pour into 6 to 8 desert dishes." I felt myself beginning to feel nervous."

"Now, what?"

"Now you must Cover and refrigerate 4 to 6 hours."

"are you kidding… it takes that long?"

"no. why would I say It if I didn't mean it?"

"That was an expression…"

"eh?" I looked at him confused.

"Any way, what are we going to do for 6 hours?"

"I don't know? I never thought of that. But I do like reading…or mathematics! I could do mathematics!" I smiled.

"You are going to sit down and do math problems for 6 hours?"

"I don't know I haven't tried. But you could do them with me." I smiled even bigger.

"You aren't kidding are you?"

"No, it is like I said before why would I say it if I didn't mean it?"

Author- 6 hours of nothing but mathematics later! Lol XD!

"You see now all we have to do is add the garnish." I smiled

"I am very curious to see how this turned out." China looked curiously at the dish in front of him.

"Try it. And…you could also try mine too." I felt my face growing gradually hotter.

"Sure, but you should really take care of yourself better, it looks as if you are coming down with something"

"What do you mean?" I panicked a little…

"Your face."

"What ab-bout it?"

"It is red." He took a bite of mine first " aiya, this is very good. Very good.."

"Now yours?"  
He took a bite "it is not as good as yours"

I took a bite of mine then his "no, is very good for first try." I smiled.


End file.
